I woke up this morning in my beautiful country house on the island of Menorca, I feel very privileged to live here. I treasure the silence, especially after 6 years in Bogotá where silence is rare. It is Sunday and my daughter is having a lie-in, so all I can hear are doves communicating with doves and the occasional bark from neighbour’s dogs.
When I woke up I read a while but as I read I was also creating a new blog in my mind, so I didn’t really read nor did I create anything, my mind was wandering. So I got out of bed, made myself a cup of coffee, washed an evening dress I had on the other night when I went dancing with 10 other women and two men who were clever enough to join us and then I came back to bed to enjoy my coffee. I decided to begin this blog, I thought if I concentrate on my blog my mind will stop wandering, you see our well-being is very much related to being able to focus our minds. I have been practising meditation for a few years now but I wasn’t aware of the reason behind, it made me feel so good. And funnily enough I was made aware now when I am researching resilience and what it is that makes some people bounce back sooner or later from life’s challenges. My work is slow in its progress because it is complex in all of its simplicity. It was Joseph O’Conner who recommended Dr. Richard J Davidson to me, he has researched into the effects meditation has on the brain and after reading some of his research I have become aware that my meditation practices have been part of making me into the women I am today.
This all springs from a conversation with one of my many very intelligent friends, she has labelled herself as an introvert and I’m very often labelled as an extrovert and I did so myself for many years because this is what I was told. Lately, I have begun to question these labels and in my conversation with Maria, I told her, “I don’t know if I believe in these labels anymore”, “I’m beginning to think they are just another aspect of what keeps us in the same place and the same role”. She said, “yes I know, I have been going a bit overboard with that lately”, “The thing is now that I live alone with my cats and my dogs, I’m finally figuring out who I am”, “I have time to think”. And as I write this I think to myself then what would happen if we thought about who is it I want to be? Not for the rest of our lives but now, today?
Our conversation also takes a trip around roles, the roles we have, we take, and are given by the people around us, and I say to her “I wonder if that is part of change being so difficult?” “What do you mean?” she asks me. “Well” I say and pause to give me some time to think, “you know how we have talked about people staying within their comfort zone?” “Yes” she says. “So, I wonder if other peoples resistance to your change is part of what keeps you inside the comfort zone” “If getting out and looking for change and becoming the person you want to be is equally difficult because of your own habits as it is other peoples habits of what they expect of you?”. “Hmmmmm” she replies, “I don’t know” and we leave the question open, we leave room for thought we round off our conversation thanking each other for a beautiful friendship which is based on mutual respect, we don’t have the need to convince or to be right we just air our thoughts, often inspired by the books we read.
I hope you are as happy as you like to be and remember it is free to be nice.
Best wishes
Ivalo