Resilience is not about endurance, it is about adaptability and how quick you bounce back.
Ivalo Kønig Okking
Hi everyone,
I hope this blog finds you well.
Today I would like to talk about what I perceive resilience to be. It is a subject that has interested me for some time now. When I first began my curiosity came from various clients, friends and family members as I noticed that some had the ability to bounce back from the unnegotiable challenges in life, sooner than others did.
My curiosity was based on, that if I could find out what it was that made some people bounce back more quickly than others and then teach it to the people who did not maybe I could help more people.
What I have found was that the people who bounce back quicker were adapting to change quicker than others. And as they adapted their lives, to the new situation, they focused on the things that made them feel good and not about the things that disturbed their peace of mind.
For example, I took a decision about 8 years ago that my physical training was as important as any business meeting or doctors’ appointment. So, when lock down began and they closed the gym I go to, it was an important change for me.
I decided to keep the same schedule I had at the gym and I began to work out with elastic bands that can be set up in your door, without ruining it. It is an economic way for you to work out at home and also when you begin to travel again, they are easy to bring so you don’t have to miss a session.
I have just been able to go back to the gym and was surprised to find that I now lift the same or more weight than before the lockdown.
That being said the period of change can be so long you do not get the time you need to adapt and therefore you can become mentally fatigued.
As for example what has been happening with the health crisis we are experiencing now. Things seems to change so fast we do not always have the time to adapt to the decisions that are made for us before new ones are made.
The political parties seem to be more polarized than they have been for a long time and there has been a lot of violence in the news.
Also, what I hear from my many clients who are working from home is that work is more intense and that they work more hours now that they are working from home.
So how can we adapt to times that are changing and have hit us at an existential level?
First, I think you have to reach an acceptance level that things are changing fast and that some things may go back to what they were before, and some may not.
If you are going to be working more from home, maybe now would be a good time to set some boundaries between work and personal time. Ask yourself if you have to work the same hours to produce the same work you did at the office?
Can your hours be fluid, can the daily hours you work be in blocks instead of continuously?
Would now be the opportunity to create a new way of working and not just copy what we did before at the office at home?
How many different ways can you think of that you can work from home?
I have home schooled my daughter for 4 years and it was important for me to bring in other elements and not just copy the school at home.
Also, I think it is very important that you find time to relax and to selfcare. Meditation and mindfulness do not have to take so much of your time. You can begin with little things like focusing on your breathing. Making small breaks where that is what you focus on (deep breath, that is right).
There are many exercises on youtube for mindfulness for beginners I suggest you begin there.
You can also grow things. There are videos on youtube of what you can grow in your windowsill and/or urban gardening. If you have children, they will love growing things with you, and it can be a fantastic part of your homeschooling.
Moreover, children tend to love to eat the things they grow themselves. During the lock down I got seeds online and you can plant them in some old cups you don’t use or in the drawers of some old furniture.
You can use the seeds from the things you are already eating. Planting and growing things can also be for yourself, the planting, the watering the caring, the joy of growth is a live metaphor for life during a challenging time.
You can mix it with your mindfulness, sit quietly and look at your plant growing while you focus on your breathing (deep breaths, that is right).
I hope you are as happy that you would like to be and remember it is free to be kind.
Best wishes
Ivalo