Let’s stay connected. Thoughts on physical distancing and getting out.

Dear Readers, old ones and new ones, I write this blog to you from Spain during one of the hardest lockdowns during the health crisis 2020.

Now we are timidly opening up and still looking at the press for news about what we are allowed to do several times a day. Today´s blog will be about some of my thoughts about what is happening at the moment. I have been under lockdown for 8 weeks and it will be my last blog of this kind before I return to my original format, as I do not want this to become my new normal.

 On the 50^th day of lockdown we were finally let out for a walk, with a curfew and 1km radius from our residence and a time slot, when I got the news I cried. A sobbing full of grief that came deeply from my stomach and it utterly surprised me.

I have been looking at this feeling from different perspectives I have felt it and listened to it to figure out where it came from and as I was chatting to a dear friend of mine from Denmark, who is a nurse, it came to me

We were talking about how excessively strict it was here in Spain compared to Sweden, where she lives and Denmark where she works. It was an interesting conversation as we have been in contact during the crisis comparing notes. She dedicates her work taking care of the elderly and I value her observations and opinions very much.

She asked me, very directly, if I was afraid of Spain opening up and I answered her very honestly, “No, actually I’m sad because I am happy that I am allowed to go for a walk”.

I think basic human rights have been taken away from us.

She said “yes, basic human rights have been violated in Spain and then again, I’m not sure the Swedish model would work anywhere else but in Sweden”. So, I wonder what things would be like if there had been some middle ground? When this is over it will be very important how we treated each other.

I´m deeply touched by the many losses that we have had and highly aware that we do need to live our lives differently for a while, as we figure out how to deal with this virus ,and I´m grateful for all the people in our health system and the scientists.

We as a society also have a moral obligation to protect the most vulnerable members of our society, but not only against illness and new viruses We have an obligation to reassure their wellness as well as their human rights.

Here in Spain, in Denmark and maybe other countries, the Governments have asked for cooperation and that all political parties stand shoulder to shoulder. Not to criticize the government because everything that is happening has been put in place to save lives.

I think constructive criticism is vital in a democracy, not the political mudslinging that we normally see but effective questions of what and why decisions have been made as they have. I miss being told the science behind the what we are allowed and not allowed to do.

When there is a constructive opposition that asks questions, problems will be looked at from different perspectives. It doesn’t matter who is in government the opposition is vital for democracy.

The argument that decisions are made to save lives and therefore we shall not question them sounds a little like emotional blackmail to me. Just because someone does not agree with the measures that have been taken does not necessarily mean that they are not interested in saving lives. In NLP we call that a Complex Equivalent you can read more about it here.

It is also important to be aware of information bias, which in politics can be when we look for people, opinions and even research that already agrees with us. This is a normal function of the human brain.

In science they are very aware of this problem and “understanding sources of bias is a key element for drawing conclusions, bias in health research continues to be a very sensitive issue that can affect the focus and outcome of investigations. Information bias, otherwise known as misclassification, is one of the most common sources of bias that affects the validity of health research. It originates from and approach  to that is utilized to obtain or confirm study measurements” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4862344/

Which is another argument for how important it is that we question and have constructive opposition, no matter who is in the Government. 

As Tim Jenkins said “Freedom is a very simple idea which perhaps is why it can be so easily lost.

The Spanish government has opted to call the restrictions applied to the life we had before “the new normal”. Language is important and this term is, for me, unfortunate. It will not be my “new normal”. I will apply the safety rules until it is safe to have my normal freedom back. So how about calling it ´while we wait for science´ or´ while we wait for normal’? Just like I prefer physical distancing to social distancing because many people have been very social while applying the physical distancing.

Language is important and as a friend pointed out to me, it is relevant if you have died from, or, with Corona virus.

I know we had to do physical distancing and not being allowed to go for a walk with the people you live with and locking up children in small apartments for 6 weeks, not to mention the dysfunctional families and how that has affected for example domestic violence can have adverse effects on mental and physical health. More is not always better.

This year it is the 75^th anniversary for when the Nazi Germans surrendered their occupation of Denmark, specifically on the 4^th of May. That day many people put candles in their windows to mark that the same day the Germans occupied Denmark the 9^th of April 1940 they ordered that Denmark had to go dark from sunrise to sunrise. Therefore blinds were installed in all the homes.

The reason for this was that the allies could use the light from the windows to navigate. 

When my mother wasn’t around, my grandfather would whisper to me “resist learning the German language”, and as I loved my Grandfather I did and much to my regret my German is somewhat limited today.

My Father Jens Okking, actor and member of the European Parliament for the Danish party against the Union, said to me many times “Democracy works better in smaller units and we may not agree but I will die for your right to have your opinion”.

Dr. Bruce Lipton says, “when we think we stop paying attention” and as

Both my grandfather and father have been on my mind lately, as well as my liberal upbringing by my artist mother Bitten Kønig in the cradle of the artistic elite of Copenhagen in the 70´s and 80´s. Which made me think, was I thinking too much and therefore not paying attention?

And then I thought, no, I´m tapping into the very core of my unconscious mind as I´m going back to my upbringing when I was taught the importance of freedom.

 There has been so much creation of fear, with false news and excessively strict policies and fear is stress and we know scientifically that stress lowers our immune system and this, during a time where we need it the most.

An impressive deployment of force on a pacific and collaborative population.

As you know I like to tell stories, both real live metaphors, old fairy tales or things I have read or even imagined. Today you have had two live metaphors already and now one from fiction from a book I am reading these days. One of those almost 900 page ones and I must say I am enjoying it very much.

It is Paul Auster´s 4321 an amazing novel with a clear insight into human emotions. The main character is Archie, Archie Ferguson who´s life and thoughts we are invited into by Paul Auster.

As a child Archie dreams of becoming a writer and he writes a short story as a young man. I don’t want to copy from the book so I will tell a shorter version of the short story here from  memory, if you would like to have the actual one, I can highly recommend Paul Auster´s book.

Hank and Frank were two ordinary brown leather shoes, and as they were finished at the shoe factory they were put in a box, where they would await their shipment to a shop or a store.

They felt awkward in the close confined space, it was a bit too close to be natural and they were uncomfortable.

One of the Shoes, I don’t remember if it was Hank or Frank, was complaining all the time. Until the other shoe said, hey listen we can’t change our situation so we might as well make the best of it. So, they lay in the box in cooperation with each other looking forward to being shipped to a shoe shop, as this was the only way out of confinement for them.

The day finally came, and they went to a shoe shop, they lay on the storage shelves for weeks and were finally tried on by an obese man.

First, they were excited, this was a chance for a new life, but the man did not choose them.

The shoe that used to complain was disappointed, but the more positive shoe said, it is a good thing we will get a better owner, imagine what it would have been like to have had to support all that body weight.

After a few weeks they were chosen by a police officer from NYPD. They were having a rich and interesting life and were even taken to be polished twice a week. The Policeman went on many dates and after a while met the love of his life that he decided to marry.

The policeman left the decorations of the new house up to his new wife and any time she would ask his opinion he would just say, you decide dear.

After some time, the house was decorated, and the wife turned her attention to the policeman and said you need a new suit. He was reluctant at first but was soon convinced and got a nice new suit. She then said, with that suit you need a new pair of shoes.

The Policeman resisted as he was fond of his comfortable shoes and said they were only three years old therefore perfectly good. After a while he gave in, got a new pair of shoes and left the old shoes in the cupboard where they withered and died as they no longer were exposed to the humidity of human contact or even being polished. Much to the wife´s despair because she wanted to throw them away.

One day the wife saw their son playing in the old shoes and asked her son what he was doing. He said he was playing he was daddy. She told him that he could have a nicer pair and asked him to accompany her to the rubbish burner. Together they drop the old shoes, one by one into the fire.

As Alan Turing said, “Sometimes it is the people no one can imagine anything of who do the thing no one can imagine.”

I wish you all the best and remember it is free to be kind.

Ivalo